i let go of the heartache that my parents are throwing to me.
i let go of what is going from their head
i already lived out that case scenario
of being in India married to an Indian and practicing cleaning clothes like a dhobi(clothes washing man)
banging on the stone clothes soap and water
all the love for a clean crisp shirt for him to wear to surgery rounds net day morning
and i don’t want it as it seems so unreal….all for a price fo leaving the freedom that was so hard to come home to
am grateful i have an ocean breeze and plenty of seawater to drink and nourish my beautiful self until tomorrow i am grateful i don’t need to tell Heidi any more
she my Egyptian queen of ancient item will pray for me
will wish me well for all the ways i was able to practice her English in medicine
about the topic i don’t what to upset her.
the stuff she is doing is different
she has plenty of people to help her even if i have to runaway out of state to live as me .
this is the fight of survival for my authentic lovely warm international self
i have a message
who will hear it
if i get whisked away with a fantasy that is not safe for me to live and speak my truth!